Job Interviews and Affirmations

scan0013.jpg Shyness and the Job Interview

This is a question I received from one of my readers.

How does a shy person make an interviewer see beyond their shyness?”

 

Job interviews can give anyone the jitters. Job interviews can make anyone nervous.

Fear of the unknown, rejection or failing is behind most job seekers’ interview anxieties. And if you are shy there is the added anxiety of how you will express yourself.

I have been reviewing the above question and trying to answer in a gentle way. I can not. My only answer is that you can not make an interviewer see beyond your shyness. It is not the responsibility of the interviewer to see beyond anything. It is your responsibility to present yourself in the best possible way.

So how do you present yourself in the best possible way. One option would be to make a list of all possible questions you think would be asked at this interview. Prepare your answers to these questions. If have a buddy have them interview you asking you all of these questions. Let your buddy throw in some other questions that you have not prepared answers for. Practice relaxation as you tackle these questions. Have your buddy give you feedback on how you are doing. You may be doing better than you think.

If you do not have a buddy there is always the tape recorder and the mirror. Practice your answers while looking in the mirror. Tape record your answers to hear how they sound and how you sound.

There is also some mental preparation you can use. You can use affirmations. The following article will tell you everything you need to know about affirmations. Try them out.

What are self-affirmations?

Self-affirmations are:

  • Healing, positive self-scripts you give to yourself to counter your negative self-scripts.

  • Vehicles by which you can free yourself from the over-dependence on other’s opinions, attitudes, or feelings about you and feel good about yourself.

  • The visualization of a new order and sense in your life, which you can work toward achieving.

  • You take personal responsibility for your health and emotional stability.

  • You let go of negative emotional baggage you have been carrying. Only then will you be able to deal with your life in a realistic and positive manner.

  • The resolution of feelings from the past so that you can face the present with a less obstructed view.

  • You give yourself permission to grow, to change, to take risks, to rise up, and to create a better life for yourself.

  • You take a healthy `”selfish” or self-oriented route in your life so that you can “let go” of these people who drain your resources and keep you from experiencing full personal health.

  • The recognition of your rights and affirming your claim on them, giving you an equitable chance of achieving your fullest potential.

  • Success prophecies that, when visualized, imagined, or believed in, do come true.

What shapes can positive self-affirmations take?

I statements:

“I” statements are one-line statements that can be repeated to cover three areas:

I am: A statement of who you are

This is a positive affirmation of a real state of being that exists in you. You can achieve a full list of I am Y statements by taking a personal positive inventory of your attributes, strengths, talents, and competencies. Examples include:

  • I am competent                                I am energetic

  • I am strong                                       I am enthusiastic

  • I am intelligent                                   I am relaxed

  • I am beautiful                                    I am joyful

  • I am a good person                           I am trusting

  • I am caring                                        I am generous

  • I am loving                                        I am courageous

  • I am smart                                        I am forgiving

  • I am creative                                     I am open

  • I am talented                                     I am sharing

I can:     A statement of your potential

This is a positive affirmation of your ability to accomplish goals. It is a statement of your belief in your power to grow, to change, and to help yourself. I can Y statements are developed after you develop a set of “short-term” (three to six months) goals. Examples include: 

  • I can lose weight                                I can grow

  • I can stop smoking                            I can heal

  • I can handle my children                    I can let go of guilt

  • I can gain self-confidence                  I can let go of fear

  • I can take risks                                  I can change

  • I can be a winner                               I can be positive

  • I can be strong                                  I can be a problem solver

  • I can pass calculus                             I can handle my own problems

  • I can laugh and have fun                     I can be honest with my feelings

  • I can be assertive                               I can let go of being compulsive

  • I can control my temper                     I can succeed

I will:      A statement of positive change in your life

This is a positive affirmation of a change you want to achieve. It is a positive statement of what you want to happen. It is a “success prophecy.” I will Y statements are developed after you have set your priorities for the short-term goals you have set. Examples include:

  • I will like myself better each day.

  • I will gain emotional strength each day.

  • I will lose weight each day.

  • I will smoke less each day.

  • I will control my temper today.

  • I will give others responsibility for their lives today.

  • I will grow emotionally stronger each day.

  • I will smile more at my customers today.

  • I will offer my comments in class today.

  • I will praise my children today.

  • I will feel good things about me today.

  • I will sleep easily tonight.

  • I will feel less guilt each day.

  • I will face my fears courageously today.

  • I will take on only what I can handle today.

  • I will take care of me today.

  • I will challenge myself to change today.

  • I will manage my time better today.

  • I will handle my finances wisely today.

  • I will take a risk to grow today.

I am

I can                    Statements of Self-Belief

I will

The daily use of these “I” statements is another form of self-affirmation designed to counter negative self-concept. It can result in a positive attitude, optimism, and can motivate you toward emotional growth and progress.

Affirmation Visualizations

There are word, images or pictures and scenario visualizations, all affirming positively.

Word Visualizations:

Step 1:  Take any single target word about who you are, your ability, or what you want to accomplish. Write it on a 3 x 5 card.

Step 2:  Get yourself into a relaxed state, preferably just before you go to bed. Hold the card about 12″ to 24″ from your eyes. Focus your eyes on the word and concentrate your attention. Hold this thought for up to 20 or 30 minutes.

Step 3:  Do this exercise nightly for at least two weeks. As you continue, you are burning the image of your goal word into your mind. It will be with you in your thoughts as you proceed in your everyday life.

Image Visualization:

Step 1:  Create or find an image of an object, person, or thing that embodies your goal for who you are, what your abilities are, or what you want to accomplish:

  • a comfortable house                  a rainbow

  • a diploma                                  a sunset

  • a cruise ship                              a calm ocean

  • a happy, healthy child                a sunny day

  • a slim body                               a snow topped mountain

Step 2:  Get yourself into a relaxed state and either look at the picture or imagine you reaching your goal. Do this for 20 minutes each night for one month.

Step 3:  Get copies of your picture or a simulation of your goal, and tape them in places where you will see them as you go through your normal day.

Step 4:  Continue to keep your images in place until you have accomplished the “goal” feelings of success and/or achieved the “object” success. The important thing is to believe that it is possible to achieve. This motivation is the most important step on your journey to success.

Scenario Visualizations:

Step 1:  Once you have a goal in mind for yourself, daydream a full color movie in your mind of what your life would be like if you achieved the goal.

Step 2:  Get a tape recorder and talk out the whole movie on tape. Be fully descriptive, colorful, positive, and uplifting. Use your imagination to the fullest and describe how positively you will be handling the change resulting from your goal attainment. Describe how key “significant others” in your life will cope successfully with your change. Save this tape for future reference.

Step 3:  Write out a description of the goal attainment scenario, and keep it handy for future reference.

Step 4:  When you are in a relaxed state, listen to the tape and read your description of the scenario every day for two weeks.

Step 5:  Refer back to the tape and script as time goes on until you have reached full attainment of your goal.

Self-affirmation statements

These forms of affirmation are words, phrases, or statements written on 3 x 5 index cards and placed where you can see them daily and be reminded of positive aspects about yourself. Every time you see these affirmation cards they will remind you to affirm yourself about these positive qualities or attributes. State all affirmations in a positive way.

  Suggested places for affirmation cards:

  • mirror in bathroom                    dashboard of car

  • mirror on dresser                      desk at office

  • closet door                               desk at home

  • refrigerator door                        in your wallet

  • front door                                  in your brief case

  • bedroom door                           in books you use at work or school

  • at your telephone

 Affirmation word examples:

  • bright                                        capable

  • creative                                     strong

  • intelligent                                   beautiful

  • smart                                        giving

  • quick                                        peaceful

  • loving                                        hopeful

  • caring                                        responsible

  • successful                                  problem solver

  • calm                                          quiet

  • pretty                                        handsome

  • relaxed                                      enjoyable

  Affirmation phrase examples:

  • think happy                               take it easy

  • be calm                                     think wisely

  • take action                                work smart

  • do it                                          take the time

  • do it now                                  have fun

  • be a winner                               relax and enjoy

  • take a risk                                 sit back

  • dare to be different                    step back

  • seize the opportunity                  take the lead

  • get in control                             give them space

  • let go                                        believe in me

  • let them be                                trust in me

  • let it be                                      enjoy good health

 Affirmation statement examples:

  • I can be a winner.

  • I am the best friend I have.

  • I have solved problems like this before.

  • I have the ability to handle this.

  • I am a capable human being.

  • I deserve to love and to be loved.

  • I am a skillful and artistic person.

  • I can show others a good example.

  • Letting go is best for them and for me.

  • They will thank me in the future.

  • Nothing is worth losing my sanity over.

  • I am responsible only for my own feelings.

  • I owe no one explanations for my behavior, which is legally, morally, and ethically correct.

  • I deserve to have my rights recognized.

  • I am a deserving human being.

  • I deserve to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

  • I deserve to be rewarded for what I do.

  • I love myself for who I am.

  • It is OK to be selfish if I don’t hurt anyone.

  • I like the way I handle problems.

  • I am able to handle any problem I face.

  • I have the right to feel the way I do.

  • My children will benefit from my healthy changes.

  • My children will survive my healthy changes.

  • My family will benefit from my relaxing more.

  • I deserve to relax more and take it easy.

  • There are beautiful things happening in my life daily.

  • I experience the excitement of growth daily.

  • Change is a blessing I am working toward.

  • Taking risks is the path to growth.

  • I grow in love daily.

  • I face each new day as a race to be won.

  • I am winning in the race of life.

  • I am a rich treasure ready to be found.

  • Let others know who I am.

  • Say hello to a new person today.

  • Open up to be loved today.

  • Be responsible. Relax!

  • Letting go is loving

  • Be free of guilt today.

  • To be loved I must love.

  • God does not make junk.

  • There are opportunities in life to be tried.

  • My possibilities are endless.

  • Success is to be enjoyed.

  • Open myself up with one new person today.

  • Belief in self is a step toward personal growth.

  • I can handle all changes that come my way.

  • There is nothing I cannot handle.

  • Smile and let others in on the secret.

Affirmation of the day exercise

Write a single positive affirmation on thirty 3 x 5 index cards. Take one card a day for each day of the month. This card is your affirmation for the day. When you get to the last card start again.

To make this daily affirmation process grow, write out thirty different affirmations for each month of the year. Keep the 360 cards in a recipe box and continually use the collection year after year, adding new affirmations as you need them.

 James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance Messina, Ph.D.  Note: Original materials on this site may be reproduced for your personal, educational, or noncommercial use as long as you credit the authors and website.

http://www.coping.org/growth/affirm.htm

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

 

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14 Comments »

  1. Bilal said

    Awesome article. I am sure I will be making use of this resource over and over again. This blog seems to be perfect for people like me.
    I would also like to share this article with you that I found while searching the job interview process online. Both of these articles complement each other very well and I would highly recommend you checking it out:
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  2. I do agree with you affirmation can change your attitutes but getting a job need planning and preparation and much more………………

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    Good work done.

  3. you are correct that getting a job needs planning and preparation. it is almost like a job in itself. however, this post is ESPECIALLY for people that are shy and want to know how to handle a job interview. i do believe that affirmations will help them with the interview process. tht is the area they were seeking help in.

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