Let Someone Get to Know You

scan00131.jpg When you feel shy you are concerned about what other people will think about you if you express yourself.

Other people can either like what you say, dislike what you say or have no opinion. If other people like what you say things are good. But if you do not say anything how can an outsider like what you have to say?

If they do no like what you have to say what does that really mean? Is one person’s opinion the opinion you will stake your life on? How important is that outsiders opinion to you? It is hard to believe that you would put so much value in one person’s opinion of you. An opinion is

a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.

 

Notice that the definition includes the word “insufficient” . It is just a glimpse. An opinion is not rendered by someone actually seeing and knowing you. It is just an impression at the time. It is not a fact. It is not permanent. People change their minds all the time. People make snap judgments that they forget about. Perhaps when you state what you feel or believe someone else will not agree with you. So what. You do not agree with everyone. Agreeing or disagreeing with someone does not indicate anyone’s value as a person. It is related to the one statement that was made in response to another statement. How can someone get to know you if you will not let them. Can’t someone like you even if they do not agree with you all the time? Can’t you converse with someone with the intention that this is a give and take of ideas and opinions? Yes you can. If someone is willing to be honest with you don’t they deserve the same from you?

It is important to look at expressing yourself in a new way. It is important to notice that in a conversation the person you are speaking with is listening to you. They are not rating you. They are relating to you. They want to hear what you have to say. If they do not agree with what you say maybe you will learn from them. If they do not agree with you maybe they will learn from you.

The point is that you will never know unless you join in. The other point is for you to value what you have to say. The easiest way to be misunderstood is to not let anyone know you. If you are a mystery then people will fill in the gaps about you. You have no idea how they will view you if they have no information to go on.

If you have something to say try saying it. Listen to how the other person responds. Stay in the conversation and get out of your head. Focus on listening and sharing. Give the other person a chance to get to know you.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

 

PS I have some great products if you are ready to take the first step to overcoming your shyness.

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1 Comment »

  1. Ellee said

    Marcia, Great words of wisdom.

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