Tyra’s Faulty Thinking

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How does this statement hit you? Tyra said, “Yesterday my co worker cornered me. She did not stop talking. I am glad I am shy. I know people must appreciate me for my thoughtfulness.”

I guess what bothers me about this statement is Tyra’s example. The non stop talkers can be scary. Especially when they corner you. I have found there are two categories of the non stop talkers. There are the non stop talkers that you wish would just stop talking. And there are the non stop talkers that you enjoy listening but you have to get going. I am assuming that Tyra is describing the non stop talker that you want to run from.

The non stop talker you want to run from is not confident. They are people that have little control over how they present themselves. They are nervous. They are not aware of what they are actually saying. They are not aware of how they appear to most people. They lack self control. It is very difficult for them to stop talking. If you are shy and do not want to be shy you should not justify staying shy by comparing yourself with the non stop talker that you want to run from.

The other part of Tyra’s statement does not actually have anything to do with being shy. You do not have to be shy to be thoughtful.

I am not picking on Tyra. We all have faulty thinking at one time or another. What I am pointing out is you need to be on the look out for faulty thinking. At any time you may fall in the clutches of faulty thinking. At the time faulty thinking may serve you well. However, in the long run faulty thinking will not benefit you. So be on the look out when you engage in faulty thinking.

Sometimes you are not the originator of faulty thinking. Sometimes someone around may engage in faulty thinking. You may be deceived by this faulty thinking. Suppose they have faulty thinking about you? Should you fall for that? I say you better not. After all you have to deal with your own faulty thinking. You do not need someone else’s faulty thinking clouding your life.

There is another case where someone else’s faulty thinking may affect you. This has happened to me. They give you advice. You did not ask them for advice. They just give it to you. A lot of times when you get unsolicited advice “watch out.” I am not telling you to ignore it. I am only asking you examine it and see if it really applies to you. This advice will be attractive because it will appear that the advice giver is showing concern for you. They may be showing concern but their advice may not be appropriate for you. Too many times the advice givers have no idea what will work for you. They are speaking for themselves but they don’t always know that.

In review – Faulty thinking – we all do it.

YOUR Faulty thinking – be aware. notice and review.

OTHERS Faulty thinking – Enticing! Your may be taken in by their caring approach. don’t fall for outsider’s faulty thinking be extra aware and review.

Lastly if you are okay being shy then good for you. If you know you are not okay being shy then do not use faulty thinking to remain shy.

You comments are always welcome.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

 

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