Get Revenge

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I asked my readers how they over came their shyness.  I got a few answers that disturbed me.  These answers were, “So many people are obnoxious. I just didn’t care anymore if they liked me or not so I just finally spoke up.”  Another one of these answers was, “I gave up caring if people liked what I said.”   The reasons these answers disturbed me was this is not the way to engage people in conversation.  This is not the way to develop a friendship.  This is not a communication.  This seems to transform shyness into obnoxiousness.   Yet there were a lot of these types of answers.  I began to think about why there were so many answers like this.  Then I realized that this is not what they meant to say.  What they meant to say was one day they got fed up with being shy.  One day they just went out there and expressed themselves and it felt good.  Being shy means that you lack some conversational skills.  You may develop these conversation skills but you may not know how to explain them to yourself and other people.  This is what I think happened to these people. These answers brought up something for me.  In my life I met people that I did not like.  As a matter of fact these people were unpleasant to me.  Sometimes I argued with them.  Sometimes I avoided them.  But I did not forget them.   They actually motivated me.  I thought about them and wanted to show them how wrong they were.  This desire to prove them wrong gave me energy.  It also gave me confidence to do many things.  It motivated me to be my personal best.  It motivated me to achieve things.  It motivated me to overcome things.  It motivated me to get moving.  It motivated me to go after what I wanted.   I think that this same thing happened to the people that wrote the disturbing answers on how they overcame their shyness.  It reminds me of the saying, “The best revenge is a good life.” Go out there and get your revenge.  Go out there and have a good life.  Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

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2 Comments »

  1. M
    Yes, i know first-hand about appearing stand-offish when it was really shyness. Thanks for visiting my site, and for your apt coverage of shyness here. warmly Kare

  2. marcia, you confidence coach said

    Hi Kare,
    I can think of many emotions I experience when I feel misunderstood. This can be one time where not being shy will not help much. This is a case where a closed mind can meet a misunderstood mind. Once misunderstood it is a challenge to be understood. Snap judgements are difficult to reverse. I have conditioned myself to over come my snap judgements because there is great joy in knowing something or someone is so much better than you first imagined. Now how do we get everyone on this path?

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